Today I want to say thank you to all of my friends, family, coworkers, etc. who have offered/continue to offer support to me as I walk through this deep abyss of sadness. Immediately after my loss I was warned to be prepared for hurtful comments and, even worse, friends who would withdraw and say nothing at all. I am so happy to say my friends and family have made it very clear they are available to me if I need them.
My friends never act awkward when I talk about Madelyn. In fact, some of them have even shared their own memories of her with me. One friend who often visited while I was in the hospital recently told me that she missed Madelyn too, and she talked of her own memories of hearing her heart beating on the monitors. I was so warmed by this, I didn’t now how to respond. But it meant the world to me to know my friend cared about Madelyn and felt connected to her.
I can’t say I’ve never received a comment that was less than comforting. However, these have been rare, and I know they were unintentional. The people who said these things were trying to help in the only way they knew how, and I appreciate that they cared enough to say anything at all.
I feel blessed to have friends and family who loved Madelyn and who aren’t afraid to let me share my memories of her. She is my baby, and I love talking about her. Even though she isn’t here with me, I am still the proud mommy who thinks she has the best baby in the world. Sometimes it’s difficult to talk about her, but it’s also healing. Please don’t think if I get teary-eyed it is because you said something wrong, and please don’t hastily try to change the subject in an attempt to distract me. If tears fill my eyes, it’s not because I don’t want to talk about her – it’s because I’m missing her.
On another matter, please say a prayer for my friend Wendy. Someone from another part of the country sent her to my blog because our situations were so similar. It so happened that she was my neighbor in the hospital! She had not been there long when I left. Anyway, her baby is scheduled to enter this world on Tuesday November 3, and they have the same concerns we did about Madelyn. Please pray that God will send her strength as her delivery approaches, that her c-section will go smoothly, and most of all that her sweet baby will be ok.