A rainbow on the horizon

I started taking pregnancy tests this week-end, knowing they would likely be negative since it was so early, and knowing most people don’t get a positive until 8-10 days after a 3 day transfer. However, I have heard of some people getting their positive test as early as 5 days past transfer, and so I started testing that early just in case.  Being the impatient person I am, I wanted to know as soon as I possibly could.

Well, all week-end long I got a negative result. Then, I tested this morning, at 3:40 a.m. (woke up needing to use the restroom), and got my first positive test of this pregnancy! The 2nd line on the test was very faint (which is normal at this point), but it was definitely there. I woke Nathan up to tell him, and then had a really hard time going back to sleep. I did manage to fall asleep again, and decided to take 1 more test, this time using a digital test. I was incredibly nervous, watching the hourglass as it made its decision. After a minute or 2 that felt like an hour, the word “pregnant” appeared!

I am so excited right now. I know we have many more hurdles to cross, and there are many things that could go wrong. But so far, I feel at peace, and to be honest, I’m not worried or anxious at all. I will feel even more confident if the next pregnancy test I take shows a darker line, and if my HCG count comes back in a healthy range and if my blood tests next week show those numbers to be doubling every 48 hours as they should. In fact, I hesitated to post anything until then, because I will feel things are much more official at that point. However, no matter what happens, this blog will be my place to discuss it, and so I decided there is no point in waiting. Besides, the sooner I can recruit prayers for our new little one(s), the better!

One thing my experience with Madelyn taught me is that every single day we are given with those we love is a gift. And so today I cherish the gift of the new life(or two) growing in me. And for today, I am going to revel in being 100%

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Embryo Transfer Info

I found this on the web and wanted to share it here, mostly so I can easily find it! This is about 3 day transfers.
For those of you who don’t know, “dpt” means “days past transfer”. I am 5dpt today.

1dpt.. Embryo is growing and developing
2dpt.. Embryo is now a blastocyst
3dpt.. Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
4dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
5dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
6dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
7dpt.. Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells
8dpt.. Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
9dpt.. More HCG is produced as fetus develops
10dpt.. More HCG is produced as fetus develops
11dpt.. HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT

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Finally, an update!

I apologize I have not been able to update sooner. After my transfer I was required to do 24 hours of complete bed rest, lying flat on my back the entire time. Typing while lying flat is not so easy!

We arrived at the clinic on Monday at 11:00. I had a massage followed by acupuncture, both of which supposedly help stimulate blood flow to the uterine lining, and can increase the chances of implantation. I must admit I am a little skeptical, but I didn’t want to pass up an opportunity to give our embryos every possible chance. Plus, I love massages (who doesn’t?). Acupuncture was new to me and, to be honest, it didn’t really feel like anything. It didn’t hurt, but I couldn’t tell if it was doing anything for me or not. But, people swear by it, so hopefully it at least helped the transfer.

After my hour of relaxation, it was time to prepare for the transfer. First, the embryologist came in and talked to us about our embryos. They thawed them the evening before and everything went very well! One is graded at a B+, the other is graded at a B. The embryologist said their average embryos are graded at an A- to a B+, and that the B embryo was certainly nothing to worry about. In fact, our RE said they were beautiful. In addition, one has 10 cells and the other has 12 cells (at almost 4 days old). I know this won’t mean much to some people, and I only have a vague understanding of it myself, but as long as the RE and embryologist thinks they are great, I’m happy with that. We actually saw a picture of them, but my clinic’s policy is not to give a copy of the photo unless pregnancy is achieved, so I can’t post it yet! Hopefully I will get that opportunity.

After the embryologist left, I took Valium to relax my uterus, and in about another half hour it was transfer time. The transfer itself was very smooth and over very quickly. We got to watch the entire process through ultrasound, which I really enjoyed.

As already mentioned, I was then confined to 24 hours of strict bed rest. I tried to remain as still as possible, but lying flat on the back is difficult for me, especially since I’m naturally a side sleeper. In fact, I woke up once in the middle of the night leaning towards one side, so I’m hoping that won’t hurt anything.

My RE said everything went great, and the RN who has been answering my 1,252,387 questions all this time says she is convinced I’m going to be pregnant. I hope she is right. But for now, we wait. On May 3 I have a blood test (called a beta) to determine if I am pregnant, then another beta 2 days later, followed by another 2 days after that. I hope these next 2 weeks go quickly!

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We’ve arrived!

Our plane landed in Norfolk, VA around 8:30 p.m. last night, and after the time it took to get our luggage, rent our car, and make the 20 minute drive to Virginia Beach, we were exhausted! It was in this state of exhaustion that we discovered the hotel we chose was not a place we wanted to stay for 6 nights. The room was clean and spacious, and we had a great balcony, but the bed didn’t feel much better than the floor as far as comfort goes. And since I will be spending 24 hours in bed after our transfer, we decided it was in our best interests to find another place.

Since we arrived so late, we had to stay last night, or we would’ve been charged for the room anyway. When I woke up this morning, I was even more glad at our decision to check out early and find another place because the walls seemed thinner than paper. It felt as though I heard every door that closed in our hallway. So this morning after our catheter fitting visit, we checked out and went searching for another hotel. Fortunately for us, the first hotel we found was tons better, and though a little pricier, also includes a hot breakfast in the mornings, so we felt that made up for the price increase! But enough about our lodging situation, since I know that’s not what most of you want to hear about.

We arrived at our clinic at 8:10 this morning, and after waiting in the lobby, filling out paperwork, and then waiting some more, our names were finally called and we got to meet the RE who has been managing our care long-distance. She is one of the most kind and enthusiastic doctors I have ever met! She greeted me with a hug, as though we were long lost friends. Then, she did a quick ultrasound to verify my uterus still looks good, and it does. Then she did a uterine catheter fitting, which was basically her “mapping” my uterus to determine exactly where she will drop the embryos on Monday. It was quick and pretty painless, although there was some pressure involved. She also made the comment that we have some good quality embryos, and that makes me so hopeful! It seems everything is in place for this to be a successful procedure. However, as hopeful and excited as I am, I still am trying to remain neutral, because even with all of the right factors in place, there are no guarantees.

I also started my progesterone shots today. Those are given by a giant needle into the muscle, and I was terrified. Since we were at the clinic today, the nurse did the shot for us and demonstrated to Nathan how to do it. Besides the initial prick, the injection didn’t hurt. However, the injection site is another matter! It has been sore ever since, and I think I’m getting a bruise. I also found out I’ll be doing these shots every other day through the sixth week of pregnancy, and then once a week after that until about the 12th week. I’m so glad I have Nathan to help me with this one. I think I could do it myself in a pinch, but I like it so much better if I don’t have to watch, and if I’m doing it myself that’s a bit hard!

I don’t have much more to say for now, but again I ask, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers on Monday!

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SLOS donations & more

First I want to let everyone know blood looked good, so we are definitely leaving for VA tomorrow! My uterine catheter fitting appointment is on Friday at 8:15 a.m. I won’t know when my appointment on Monday is until Friday.

Second, I wanted to answer a few questions I’ve been asked by people who follow our story. I thought I’d answer them here in case anyone else is wondering the same thing.

Blogspot blogs have a place for readers to “follow” the blog, which then gives an easy way to keep track of any blogs of interest without having to check every single one each day. I’ve only recently discovered this feature with the creation of my In Our Hearts blog. Unfortunately, I don’t believe wordpress has such an option. However, I do have an email subscriptions form on my sidebar for those who are interested. This sends an email update to the registered address everytime I write a new post, which might make it a little easier to follow our journey.

The other thing I have been recently asked is if we have a charitable organization we would like to support in Madelyn’s honor. The answer is yes. The organization we would like to support on her behalf is the SLOS foundation. If anyone would like to make a donation on her behalf, either now or in the future, you can do so by following this link to the SLOS web-site. There is a downloadable form for donations, and on the form is a place where donations can be made in someone else’s honor.

My next post will be from VA! Thanks to everyone for the well wishes and prayers. I hope it’s not selfish of me to ask you to keep them coming!!!

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1.5 cm

Well, that’s the measurement of my uterine lining, which I was told is very good! And my ovaries are suppressed, so the Lupron injections are good for something. I guess. 🙂

The only thing I’m waiting on is my E2 lab results, and I should hear about those at some point this afternoon. Assuming there are no major issues there, we are on our way! Six more days until transfer day!

The doctor made a comment about how lovely my eggs are, and being just the satellite doctor, he didn’t know our story. So after noticing what “wonderful” eggs I have, he wanted to know why we are doing embryo adoption, so I told him about Madelyn. For some reason, I get nervous every time someone I have to tell her story, because I’m terrified of tears. They don’t always come, and thankfully they didn’t today. But when they do, there’s no stopping them. As excited as I am to be going to get Madelyn’s sister(s) and/or brother(s), I still miss her. So very much.

In a way, I also hate hearing about how perfect my reproductive system is. I shouldn’t have to be doing this. I have all the “tools” I need to make more beautiful babies. Sometimes I really hate that stupid, stupid gene.

I will try to update as much as I can while in VA. Please, please, please keep us and our little embies in your prayers!

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Beautiful Uterine Lining

Today I had my baseline ultrasound, and my local RE said my uterine lining is beautiful! I also had some blood work done to see if my estradiol levels are where they should be, and they are. My VA doctor hasn’t reviewed everything yet, but the RN from that office said she thought everything looked good and she thinks Dr. R. will agree. The clinic here also said that based on their IVF cycle standards, all of my tests were perfect. Dr. R. was planning to review everything this evening, and the RN will email me in the morning to let me know what she says. However, it sounds promising!

On Tuesday I have another ultrasound to check my uterine lining, my ovaries (to ensure they remain suppressed), and my estradiol levels again. Assuming my body continues to cooperate, we’ll be on a plane to VA 1 week from tomorrow.

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More Photos of Madelyn’s Name

Today I received this wonderful Easter surprise!

Thanks so much, Michelle, for thinking of Madelyn and so many other little ones this Easter!

And another thanks to Names on the Sidewalk for writing Madelyn’s name. I’m so thankful for everyone who writes our babies’ names in various ways. It means a lot!

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Grieve Out Loud Update

Our new site is nearly up and running! I know I’ve mentioned this already, but if you haven’t done so, or haven’t done so recently, stop by and take a look at http://www.grieveoutloud.org!

Also, for those of you who are interested in posting a Grieve Out Loud button on your blog, Julie has created 2 options for you. I have the codes to them, so if you’d like them, please let me know. I tried pasting the codes below the photos, but instead of the actual code showing up in this post, it posts another copy of the photo. If anyone knows how I can share the code on my blog without it turning into a photo, please let me know!

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Julie

Everyone please send my friend Julie your thoughts and prayers. She has just gotten some bad news about her pregnancy (this being her pregnancy after the loss of her baby boy last September) and I’m sure she could use some support.

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